Maximum Wellness

I remember a time when I believed in the magic of teddy bears. The eyes of the teddy bears I made would follow me wherever I went. It always made me smile as I recognized their presence in my life.

Over time the magic left. I forgot that my bears used to watch me walk around. I forgot that they used to play and dance and laugh and giggle and tell teddy stories when I was at work.

I had begun to judge rather than love. I had begun to compare rather than celebrate differences. I had started to think that money was the object. That each bear had a price tag instead of an assignment. And the magic gradually died.

I had forgotten the purpose of my gift. To create loving bears to pass along healing and love to whomever they were lucky enough to be passed on to.

I have recently been working with an old pattern I created back in the early nineties. I call it my Maxwell Pattern, because I designed the teddy bear “Maxwell” as a symbol of “maximum wellness” and my idea was that this bear would be created to help others through their own hard times.

Shortly before I designed and completed Maxwell I had returned come home from six weeks of chemotherapy and radiation for the cancer that threatened to end my life. One of the things that helped me through the ordeal (aside from my loved ones) was my favorite teddy bear “Ben.”

A few days ago I completed a bear and I felt the return of something magical. Because she looked at me. Her eyes followed me and I thought to myself, “I remember when that used to happen all the time.”

Today it happened again when I finished another bear while sitting on the deck in the sunshine. His eyes followed me and I felt my heart open and tears well up in my eyes.

My bears are never going to win prizes or compete for the best in their class. They don’t need to. That is not their purpose. They are average, everyday teddy bears and their purpose is to bring “maximum wellness” to whomever they are lucky enough to be presented to. And my purpose is to simply bring them into the world, so they can complete theirs.

I knew that something happened, something good, something ancient, something familiar when I turned 59; this new/old awareness is part of it and I feel full to the brim!

Thanks for sharing in the magic!

Love and hugs from Vicki and the bears

59, and Holding

Or maybe that should be “59 and letting go.”

I haven’t felt inspired recently to write on the blog, so I just flat haven’t. But today I feel the inspiration returning, so I will share how I feel with you, my teddy bear friends.

Yesterday I turned 59. So, it looks like 60 is just around the corner, if it be my destiny that I live until age 60. These days, I don’t take “anything” for granted, much less that I will be around to celebrate 60.

I seem to have entered a new phase of life that feels very exciting to me. Exciting in a peaceful kind of way. Not in the kind of way that would get one’s adrenaline pumping. I simply feel a shift; a change; a new vision, if you will, about life in general.

I’m not sure anyone could have convinced me that I would feel like this in my late 50’s if they would have spoken to the 20-year old I was at the time.

I feel a little less concerned about day to day trivia; a little less worried about the world in general; a little more grateful for the people in my life; a little more humble; a little less worried about my looks (mind you I said “a little” .. he he); and a little less worried about everybody else.

You see, I am at a place in my life where when you check the boxes, like on a survey or a questionnaire ….. I am on my last two boxes.

There are only two left.

I squandered my youth. Yes, I admit it. I was one of those people who thought youth would last forever. So, I squandered every minute of it, believing I would always be young and able to do whatever I wanted.

And then I turned a corner. And that corner wasn’t gradual for me. It was sudden and scary and I fought it like the plague. Nine years ago I turned 50 and everything changed. I looked at myself in the mirror and thought, “how did this happen so fast?”

And now that 60 is staring me in the face, I feel like have graduated to a place where I am more at ease with the process and excited about whatever time I may have “left.”

And, I promise to myself not to squander my last two boxes.