Sunday, July 18, 2010

59, and Holding

Or maybe that should be “59 and letting go.”

I haven’t felt inspired recently to write on the blog, so I just flat haven’t. But today I feel the inspiration returning, so I will share how I feel with you, my teddy bear friends.

Yesterday I turned 59. So, it looks like 60 is just around the corner, if it be my destiny that I live until age 60. These days, I don’t take “anything” for granted, much less that I will be around to celebrate 60.

I seem to have entered a new phase of life that feels very exciting to me. Exciting in a peaceful kind of way. Not in the kind of way that would get one’s adrenaline pumping. I simply feel a shift; a change; a new vision, if you will, about life in general.

I’m not sure anyone could have convinced me that I would feel like this in my late 50’s if they would have spoken to the 20-year old I was at the time.

I feel a little less concerned about day to day trivia; a little less worried about the world in general; a little more grateful for the people in my life; a little more humble; a little less worried about my looks (mind you I said “a little” .. he he); and a little less worried about everybody else.

You see, I am at a place in my life where when you check the boxes, like on a survey or a questionnaire ….. I am on my last two boxes.

There are only two left.

I squandered my youth. Yes, I admit it. I was one of those people who thought youth would last forever. So, I squandered every minute of it, believing I would always be young and able to do whatever I wanted.

And then I turned a corner. And that corner wasn’t gradual for me. It was sudden and scary and I fought it like the plague. Nine years ago I turned 50 and everything changed. I looked at myself in the mirror and thought, “how did this happen so fast?”

And now that 60 is staring me in the face, I feel like have graduated to a place where I am more at ease with the process and excited about whatever time I may have “left.”

And, I promise to myself not to squander my last two boxes.


  1. Your message is great... I like it ; however, we are young if we feel young.... digits, year of birth... are not important... Happy Birthday, one day late....
    Beary Hugs

  2. Oh no, Vicki, I missed it. I thought of you and your 59th all month, then vegged when the day came.. and went.
    So, a belated and heartfelt Happy Birthday!
    I truly believe the road ahead will hold more rose petals than ruts for you, for us.
    We are the sum of our many parts. Life has given you insight and understanding, and an oh so beautiful heart.
    Much Love,
    Laura ♥

  3. Congratulations and belated happy birthday Vicki! I turned 60 earlier this year. 'Come on in, the water's fine!' - i'm loving it!

  4. Thank you all for your insight into this new era of life. Sharing makes it even more exciting. Oh, Laura, no worries .. I knew you were out there .. and Lynda I believe you and I'm ready for the deep end of the pool :) Chantal, I agree.. age is a state of mind. Hugs

  5. Hi Vicki, a while back I got out of the bath, sreaming to my husband "Honey, there's a fat old woman in our bathroom!!" He came rushing in and laughed, saying "Lovey, that's your reflection in the mirror". I am 30, so what is that fat old woman doing in my bathroom??

    Lots of love and empathy

    Pat xx

  6. Oh, yes, Pat... I have worked hard at ridding myself of her; perhaps it's time to accept her as she is and just get on with it! Hope you are well. A huge hug for you, Vicki