Monday, March 10, 2014

I Miss You, Sister


Two weeks ago today, my sister passed away.

I was at my Mother’s when I got the call, cleaning her house while she napped. I was well into my sixth week of a nightmare trying to help her recover from an operation she had in January.

My sister was in poor health for many years. She had been in a nursing home for the past few months and actually seemed happier than I remember her being in a long time.

She was my confidant. My friend. The only one I could really talk to about how I felt about things, because she felt the same way I did.

I miss her so much.

I can’t seem to stop the tears sometimes. I know I am being selfish, because she was in so much pain before she died. But I miss her.

The day she died, I couldn’t even call my friends. They had been so supportive of my predicament with my Mother that how could I tell them this?

Sometimes life just seems to hand us too much.

And that day, it was too much.

I have since left my Mother’s house and have had time to grieve a bit. Grieving around my Mother was not an option.

We took two different paths, my sister and I. I became an overachiever/perfectionist, to fill the hole in my insides; she didn’t give a damn and slowly began to die from overindulgence and internal pain.

Although our paths were different, our feelings were the same. Selfishly, I will miss our talks, our sharing the pain, our laughing. She laughed so well.

I have thought long and hard about sharing this on my blog.

But this is part of my life. And life is just hard sometimes.

This day was dedicated to my Sister. I read her yearbooks, played her favorite music, put her picture here on my desk so we could share the day together. Now it is evening. Time to put away the toys and memories of childhood/ good and not so good, and get ready for bed. 

This was a good day. Tears and grief don’t turn good days into bad days. And tomorrow will be a better day, I just know it.

Love from Vicki and the bears.


P.S I love you, Sister. I feel you with me. I thank God for you in my life. We’ll still have our talks. I’ll try hard to hear you. 


  1. Dear Vicki, I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. Be kind to yourself. Love Lynda x

  2. Hello Vicki, so sorry to hear that you have lost your sister, your post was very moving. I echo Lynda's comment, take good care of yourself. Love Ginie Lee x

  3. Dear Vicky, our condoleances. Thinking of you and all people involved. Our biggest hugs for all of you. xoxoxo Pink

  4. Vicki
    My heart is heavy and your post even brought tears to my eyes. I'm so sorry to hear of the passing of your sister. All I can think is God has a plan. You are such a special person and I know that not only will your sister be in your heart, but will be your guardian angel. My prayers are with you and your family.

    Warm hugs,

  5. I'm sorry about your sister. I do somewhat understand. I didn't have a sister but y cousin was just like a sister for me. We looked alike, did things alike without knowing, we could talk about anything. She died 3 years ago suddenly fro H1N1. I still miss her so much. So many times I want to talk to her about something that no one else would understand. I like that you spend the day for her today. (((((HUGS))))

  6. Vicki I can only send you virtual *bear* hugs to lend comfort at this very hard and trying time in your life. I can feel the love you had for your sis in your writing. I am positive she felt the same dear love for you, it sounds like you two had a bond. Bless you for caring for your Mom, but don't forget to take care of Vicki too!
    Ani in NC

  7. Vicki, my deepest condolences to you on the loss of your sister. Words can't heal the pain you are feeling but please know you are in my heart and thoughts. {{Hugs}}, Deb

  8. Vicki, so sorry to hear about your loss. Sisters are special people and she will always be in your heart. You are in my prayers and thoughts.Many hugs to you.